1:00 am

I am not leaving this hotel again tonight! I called Matt, Eli and Richard! Yay! We were 6000 miles apart and still together. Yay! I guess it was 6:30 pm there. I told them I'm stoned in Amsterdam in the pouring fucking rain! Anyhow, I did try to go back to the C***ring. I walk by a cool bar on my street playing Bob Marley. I hesitate. I say, "Nah. Go on." So I walk ... in the pouring fucking rain!! I get not very far and turn back! "Give up," I say. "Go back to the Bob Marley." So I did. I had a drink. The place was full of locals -- speaking that Dutch stuff. The waitress was so loud! They were all talking and laughing. Me and this old guy were singing along with "Redemption Song." No barriers. So I'm sitting there, thinking that I have to go back to this other bar! I go out again. I walk and walk and walk in the P.F.R! I get lost AGAIN! I'm in the scary Red Light District. No map this time! I said get me out of here. I retraced my steps and got the hell out of that area. I mean, it was this dark, rainy, deserted street. I'm just toolin' down there with the word "Tourist" across my forehead! I was SCARED! I was PISSED! I was HIGH! I was LOST! I was the Little Match Girl! It was destined to happen -- found by Amsterdam police the next morning, his last match -- no, his Hamtramck lighter -- snuffed out by the rain. Vhat a country!

1:20 am

I'm trying to set my travel alarm clock, but it's fucking up. It keeps ringing when I turn it to "set alarm." I hope the neighbors aren't home! I'm still stoned. Now I'm thinking I should stay another day. I just wish the weather were nicer! I wouldn't mind staying. It's safer. It's a scary world out there! But I can do it! I RULE!

1:25 am

Traveling is so hard! You have a million decisions to make! I thought it'd be a vacation without a care -- without decisions. But there are so many! Where do I stay? Should I leave today? How will I pay for this? Should I buy that? Can I carry it? So much going on. Like in the square at the Dam. A great place.

11:30 am

Now this is the way to travel. First Class in a compartment by myself. Of course, I won't meet anyone this way! Perhaps I'll ride in 2nd class occasionally, but I do enjoy this time alone, watching the Dutch countryside. I'm on the way to Köln. I'll spend the day there, hopefully take a cruise on the Rhine, and take a night train to Berlin. Didn't write about Saturday night. I went to the April Bar, ran into Eamon and his Dutch friend, Jan. We drank and talked. Went to the Exit Bar and drank and talked. Eamon left at 3, then Jan and I danced a bit. Then I went home at 5:00 am. It's too bad I didn't see Eamon last night to get his address in London. But he'll be in Barcelona when I'm there. Who knows?

1:30 pm

Well, I had a bit of an adventure there. I got off at Duisdorf instead of Köln. Gotta keep an eye on the watch. Luckily, there was another train in 20 minutes. Nice little visit!

5:45 pm

On the train again. On the way to Mainz. I found out that I need to start in Mainz if I want the entire 9 hour Rhine cruise -- downstream. So I spent 2 hours in Köln and off again. I hope to find the Youth Hostel in Mainz. It's lovely looking across the river. An occasional castle is passed. Must look even better by boat. I hope the weather is like this tomorrow -- warm and partly sunny. Much better than Amsterdam! I really enjoy having this time to sit and think and write. In the midst of beauty.

5:30 pm

Sitting in Le Monde Cafe in Rembrandtsplein. It's beginning to rain again, so I moved indoors. Shame. Can't people-watch as well here. Went to Anne Frank and the van Gough Museum today. I'm tired of touristy things. I just want to sit and observe from now on. Life is so funny. There's a vile group of Spaniards being obnoxious. How fun. I wish it weren't raining. At least it's not as cold as the first day. I'm spending a lot on touristy things. Too much $. I think I'll stop somewhere small tomorrow on the way to Berlin.

11:50 pm

I was the Little Match Girl. At 10:30 pm last night -- after a nap and then getting high, I went out in the fucking pouring rain to go to the C***trap -- a disco. I decided not to go to April to meet with Eamon (I'm bummed), because that was too far to walk and I couldn't figure out the tram system at this stage. I got so lost! I didn't know where I was -- in a foreign city, in the pouring fucking rain, with a map looking like papier maché by now, walking through .... The Red-Light district! It's pretty obvious because the shops all have red lights. Tourist attraction, you know. People were asking me, "Whaddya want?" A woman gave me a scary look right to my face as she walked by. Like something from a German film. I was scared! Then, by some quirk, I ended up on the street I wanted. I eventually found the C***ring and went in. There was one person besides the two workers at the upstairs bar. The disco doesn't open until 11:00. I ordered a beer, drank it fast, and left, hoping to come back later. I walked -- in the pouring fucking rain -- another mile to the Blues Brother Coffeeshop -- for the third time in 3 days. They were playing music videos of The Doors. It was great! People were stoned like me! I had a pint and waited and enjoyed. Then I came back here to the hotel -- in the pouring fucking rain! Now I want to go back to the C***ring, but it's POURING!

1:30 pm

I'm sitting by a canal enjoying Amsterdam. I rented a bike and I'm cruising around. Very fun. I went to a gay cafe and met a Scottish guy named Eamon. Now I'm going to the van Gough museum and then to a gay cafe/bar and then, who knows?

3:30 pm

I went to the Rijksmueum instead, because the van Gough line was too long. I really enjoyed it, although I was disappointed by it's size -- after hearing it was perhaps the greatest museum in the world. The presentation of art was great. They put stained glass windows in cases and put them in the windows. You actually walked though a wooden gateway from inside a church. The wood sculpture was wonderful. Great wood secretaries and wardrobes. Gonna try to call Matt. I don't like feeling that I must do things -- get high, go to a museum, go to a gay bar, sit out and observe, write and record things, call Matt, send postcards. So much to do!!

5:00 pm

I just saw the coolest video at the Sledilijk Museum. It was a 30 minute series of "the domino effect." Very industrial in look -- old tires, fire, steam, water. An old tire is bumped by an unwinding bag of garbage. It rolls and knocks a block and a carton of paint falls into a pan with two candles, the paint caught fire and the flaming ooze seeps into another pan and eventually lights a bottle-rocket device which shoots out a ball at something else. It just goes on and on. A lot of dry ice and steam, water gurgling out of a bottle into a pan, causing an empty tin to rise and bump something else.... Incredible. I wanted to purchase it, even at $65, but it's not available in NTSC.

7:40 pm

Good move renting that bicycle. I got to see quite a bit of Amsterdam and didn't get too exhausted. It's pretty scary out on the streets here. I saw an old lady get hit by a motorcycle. Ouch. Another great time in the plaza at the Dam. A 400 monitor videowall is there. Too fun. So much going on. Better than London's Leicester Square! Did I say I went to bed at 9:30 pm yesterday? I did. I was so tired and it was raining. Not tonight!

2:20 am

This is so cool! I'm on the ferry to Oostende. I got a chance to get a little sleep, because I'm able to stretch out across three seats, but it's only 8:30 pm Detroit time, so I'm not sleepy! There's someone playing a flute in the distance -- The Hallelujah Chorus. I'm in a much better mood. I'm really looking forward to Amsterdam. I think it was a good idea to go right on. I spent two hours with Keith. That was nice. He's a good guy. I hope I can meet some more guys! Haven't really met anyone, but the guy on the plane and a guy on the train from Gatwick. Life is cool sometimes. As long as I can secure lodging, I'll be okay!

6:30 am

What thoughts now? I'm cold! Had a two hour (3 - 5 am) layover in Oostende in an open train station. Then the train was late! Now, there are two of us in First Class. I don't think I'll like First Class travel if I can't meet any people. This other woman is a Computer Animation T.A. at Ohio State. That's fun. I still have not been in Europe 24 hours. Seems a lot longer. I do wish I had someone to share this with.

11:45 am

It's that "Casa de Missel - we win" feeling all over again. I scored a cool place in Amsterdam. It's a refuge for Dead heads and other 60s retro-types. I have a tiny cubicle called a room, but it's fine. The proprietor offers tea, coffee and weed to his guests! It's located on a busy sex-shop, drug paraphernalia street. This city is too much. Looking forward to expanding my horizons!

2:30 pm June 20, 1991

The Museum of Moving Images in London is incredible. I'm watching "The Seven Samurai." Now it's a look back at 100 years of film. Great stuff. This is the cinema exhibit. There's so much great stuff here -- from Eisenstein to television (which is coming up.) I just hope I can stay away. Not away -- awake! I guess I'm losing it. So sleepy! I had a very long morning at Victoria Station -- trying to call a hotel in Amsterdam, unsuccessfully. Then trying to see which train and ferry I should take out of here. I've decided I'm leaving tonight instead of staying overnight. I'll get to see my friend, Keith for two hours. Oh well. I'm pretty overwhelmed. If I feel this way in London, where I've been twice and where I understand the language, I can't imagine how I'll handle the next month! Very intimidating. I'd better be up to the challenge. I hope Amsterdam is as great as I think it will be. I just hope I can find a decent hotel. I'm already spending too much -- in only six hours!